War has come to Unstablovakia, and the country's two most incompetent mercenaries realize it's their time to shine! King Ned is dead, drowned in a wine barrel without any apparent heirs. Now, our mercenary 'heroes' - a delusional goblin and his silent doppelganger sidekick - fight with the five factions that sprung up to claim the throne. Who will win? Will the kingdom survive? And will there be anyone left to pay the mercenaries?